As little Myra runs in the park, the cool morning breeze of November gently caresses her soft pink
cheeks. Her silky curls merrily dance from left to right as Myra nods her head in excitement. Soon she sees a
lovely Monarch butterfly fly across her, and her caramel-like eyes widen with curiosity. She stretches her hand
and follows it as fast as a 15-month-old toddler can. Fluttering its wings, the butterfly settles on a flower.
Myra’s smile brightens up her face; she can now touch the fascinating creature. As she stretches out her little
finger to touch it, the cautious butterfly zooms off into the air, leaving her both surprised and disappointed.
She is eager to share this discovery with her mother, who is sitting on a bench nearby. She turns around and
looks for her mother. In no time Myra’s joy turns into anxiety. She sees her mother talking to a friendly
stranger. She takes a few steps towards her mother; the stranger still doesn’t seem to move away. Unable to
contain her anxiety, she starts crying, she wanted to be with her mother but didn’t how to reach her. Hearing
Myra, her mother rushes to pick her up. She starts cooing gently, “My princess, Mama’s here. Are you hurt my
dearest?” Her mother’s touch, her fragrance, her gentle words and the warmth of her embrace slowly dispell her
fears. She was secure again. The connection that was broken by the presence of the stranger was
reestablished.
Myra’s mother began playing with little Myra, rubbing her nose against her soft cheeks, gently tickling
her belly. Myra gets excited again; her peals of laughter fill the air. She likes seeing her mother’s smile.
Myra reaches out to touch her face and play with her hair. Suddenly her mother’s face is contorted with pain,
Myra had tugged a little hard on her hair. Myra senses that something is wrong; she recognises pain in her
mother’s expression. The sense of security breaks again, Myra becomes anxious, her smile turns into a frown, and
her face reflects her mother’s pain. Tears fill up Myra’s eyes, seeing this her mother realises the mistake and
starts pacifying Myra with her gentle words and loving smile. Myra relaxes. This severance and reestablishment
of the secure connection between the mother and the daughter took no more than two minutes, but Myra had
experienced a plethora of emotions in this time from anxiety to fear, from joy to serenity. This synchrony of
emotions between the mother and child begins when the child is born and the strength of the connection, the
depth of the security experienced by the child in the first two years of life will determine how well the child
can face the world and its challenges. The sense of security is like a lifelong anchor in the rough, wild waters
of the future.
“The heart of a child experiences every emotion reflected on the mother’s face.”
A child is the most precious gift bestowed upon a man by the Almighty, a source of joy and bearer of his
name, but at the same time his greatest responsibility. It is the right of the child to grow up in an
environment which is safe, secure and conducive for holistic growth; physical, emotional and spiritual. In the
early days of his life, the child tends to forge a bond with his primary caregiver. This bond is like a security
blanket, the presence of it comforts the child and its absence perturbs him. Even as the child attempts to
venture out to explore the unknown surroundings, he keeps returning to his safety net to regain the sense of
confidence. The mothers or primary caregivers who are attentive to this need foster independence and help the
child satiate curiosity thus aid in learning and help become confident individuals.
On the other hand if the mother is distant, unresponsive or rejecting and fails to share a relationship
of warmth with the child, the child is either agitated most of the time or becomes reclusive. The failure of
establishment of the secure connection disquiets the child’s tender heart. Attempts to calm or soothe the
agitated child in this case do not seem to be effective, and the child is irritable most of the time. The child
starts believing that crying or clinging is the only way to get the attention of the mother. These children grow
to become underconfident individuals, they are usually the victims of bullying and fail to raise voice for
themselves,
A child who becomes withdrawn, on the contrary, pretends to ignore the presence of his mother even though he
yearns for her attention. This is especially true when the mothers dislike holding the children in their arms or
use their expressions or voices to give comfort to the children and establish a bond of love. Such children are
more likely to show signs of aggression as they grow and are more likely to bully and pick fights with siblings
or classmates.
A mother or a primary caregiver who is the only source of security and comfort for the child can turn into a
source of distress or fear based on how successful .she is identifying the needs of her child and
responding to it in a befitting manner. It essential for the child to feel that he is loved and that he belongs
to someone. For the child to be able to garner the courage to explore the world he needs to feel sure that no
matter what he does and where he goes and who he meets, he can always return back to his safe haven, his mother.
Only a conscious and caring mother can raise a confident, content and courageous adult.